Healthy At Any Size

Over at Jezebel, there's a link to an article how fat acceptance is dangerous because it can lead to embracing unhealthy lifestyle choices. Like running on the never ending diet hamster wheel is healthy? Like having zero self-esteem is healthy?

I hate the fact that many doctors and weight-loss professionals don't seem to understand that not everyone is going to be or even should be a size 8 or smaller. I count my current trainer in there because she is very focused on getting smaller. Getting healthy is good but she emphasizes shrinking thighs and bellies and fitting into a smaller dress size. But these same professionals often don't seem to acknowledge that for some people, the only way they're going to reach an 'acceptable' weight or appearance is by engaging in eating-disorder like behavior (obsessively counting calories, cutting out entire food groups, trying to drop to 1000 or less calories a day).

Self-esteem and a positive attitude have a lot to do with both getting healthy and losing weight. If I feel depressed because my weight, because my belly is too big and my thighs jiggle too much, I'm not going to be inclined to go to the gym. Especially after I've watched a couple of Bally's commercials which makes it look like the club is full of nothing but toned, slender fitness professionals. I don't want to be the sweat pants-clad elephant in that weight room. So I sit at home, wallow in my depression, gain more weight, and generally do nothing. I feel bad about myself.
It's a vicious circle that only gets worse when if I find short-term success with a particular diet only to gain the weight back when I can't maintain the diet.

But Fat Acceptance or the movement to be Healthy At Any Size focuses on the fact that not every one is going to be a size 8 or a size 2. Not everyone is going to have toned abs and no back fat. Some of us are going to be fleshy and there's nothing wrong with that as long as we're able to live our lives to the fullest. We, meaning those with more fat and flesh than 'normal' can exercise, wear nice clothes, and have sex. We can, in fact, do pretty much everything anyone else can do.

The problem is that we live in a society that equates thin with being healthy, intelligent, and all around better than those who are not thin. To be fat, especially very fat, is to be seen as lazy, unhealthy, less-than. A freak and an object of subtle and sometimes not so subtle scorn. Which crushes the self-esteem. Which can lead to depression, over-eating, and a repeat of the vicious circle that is yo-yo dieting, poor body image, and self hatred.

Fat Acceptance movements, which focus on getting away from relying only on measurements like BMI, focus on improving the overall perception of fat people, and on encouraging fat people to get out and Move! are sometimes viewed as dangerous, as encouraging people to engage in unhealthy behaviors.

I can't say that it isn't sometimes tempting to say, fuck it, I'm just going to eat what I want and lay around. And of course the husband says he'll love me even if I balloon to 900lbs, but the truth is, I'm going to try my hardest not to get to that point because 1) I don't want to be a burden on him and 2) I like being able to move under my own power.

At my fittest, when I played sports, walked all the time, and lifted weights, I was never very small. Actually, I haven't been below a size 22 since middle school. And I've struggled not to feel like a massive blob. I'm conscious of what and how I eat in public because I don't want to feed into (haha) the stereotype of a fat person who hoovers up food. I find myself silently measuring myself against other women in Fashion Bug or Lane Bryant and saying 'well, at least I'm not that big'. It's hard to shake off the feeling that I'm less than, that I am 'other', especially when the depression is re-asserting itself.

I know that doesn't sound very fat accepting but I think that's why Fat Acceptance is so important. It's a way to combat and reframe this way of thinking, a way to encourage myself and to keep going because, in the end, it's about being healthy, not trying to squeeze into a smaller size pants.